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World's Longest Blog about Goat's Milk Soap

Okay, let’s do this. So what makes Zum Bar soap so dope? We get asked this question more often than Lindsey hosts furry parties and changes her hair color.*

Look, there are craploads of soap out there. In some cases, you’re actually better off lathering with crap. #grossdontdothat #we’llhastagblogsifwewant

Soap is one of the world’s oldest inventions. Ever since cavemen realized that eau de swampass was getting in the way of their lumbersexual good looks, they took steps to being clean, moisturized and inviting hot cavewoman back to their slates. The smart ones started using goat’s milk as their base and eventually got the girl. The dumb ones, who remained single, just got the goat.


Fast-forward thousands of years. Some people are using soaps made with a tallow base, a nice name for rendered animal fat. #grossdontdothat And commercial soap companies remove glycerin, a natural by-product of the saponification process, from their soaps and sell it on the side. Glycerin isn’t just a 20-year-old song from the band Bush. It’s a super, crazy moisturizing ingredient and will always have a permanent home in Zum Bars.


Another dope reason, Zum Bars are packed with an alphabet soup of vitamins — A, B and D. Vitamin A reduces wrinkles and fades brown spots. Vitamin B improves moisture retention. Vitamin D helps protect your skin.

Oh, and back to the goat’s milk thing. There are a lot of farm animals out there with nipples. Why milk goats? And why not go straight vegan? (Not that we would milk vegans. That’s weird.) Here’s the deal, the pH balance of goat’s milk is closer to your skin than an entourage to Taylor Swift. Nothing comes closer. Meaning, it doesn’t leave skin too oily or too dry. Our goats are treated like rockstars (minus the paparazzi and stints in rehab). And goat’s milk is naturally ultra-moisturizing and naturally homogenized.


We also load up on plant-based ingredients in all of our Zum products, including 100% pure essential oils and other ingredients that get a thumbs up from Mother Nature instead of the middle finger. Never any parabens, sulfates, phthalates, detergents, petroleum by-products or other yuckies.


There you have it. Lots o’ reasons Zum Bars are the dopest of soaps. Now go get Zum!

*We’re talking about parties for her furbabies, get your mind out of the gutter. The hair changes are totally true. She’s gone red. She’s gone blue. Shoot us an email at and recommend her next color.

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