The skincare industry’s made gazillions off of convincing you that your face is a helpless damsel in distress.

Wrinkle serums, acid peels, and cleansing milks. Oh my! Is it just us, or do “high-end” skincare products sound kinda TERRIFYING? And why is “cleansing milk” somehow more disturbing than “acid peel”? Shudder.

The beauty industry tells us that normal side effects of being human – zits, aging, redness, etc. – areflaws that need to be slathered with zillion-ingredient concoctions whipped up in laboratories. Long story short: the skincare industry creates skin problems. And then we feel dependent on products to fix those exact same problems. Gongggggg! That was the irony gong. Gongggggg! That was the “don’t-believe-everything-you-see-on-TV” gong. Gonggggggg! That was just Sven, over in the corner playing with his new gong. Oh, Sven.

Everyone just wants to be happy and healthy. But not try too hard at it. It’s exhausting.

So it’s time to face the facts about your skin. As in…it’s not helpless. It’s actually kinda badass. It knows how to take care of itself. It works overtime and gets the kids to soccer practice. All the epidermises, independent, throw your hands up at meeeeee. Epidermis, I didn’t know you could get down like that! (Okay, we’ll stop.)

The science behind your skin is amazing, but we’ll just cut to the chase, and explain this s–t like you’re 5 years old, a la Michael Scott…goat bless him:

There’s a layer of oil on top of your skin, and it’s not gross at all. In fact, it’s essential to maintaining the ideal acidic/basic balance to keep you feelin’ groovy. It has a pH of around 5.5, so it’s naturally a little bit more on the acidic side. This oil layer helps detoxify and protect your body… it’s automatic, systematic, hydromatic, why, it’s Grease Lightning! Well, technically, it’s your “Acid Mantle.” We like healthy acid mantles and we cannot lie.

When we use harsh cleansing products, we’re stripping the good stuff along with the bad. And then, we cake on moisturizers because we inevitably feel dry. And then the cycle continues, and we grow dependent on routines that aren’t actually doing anything good for our skin.

Good thing there’s a miracle skin care product on the market that will solve all of your skin problems, make you horrifically beautiful, do your taxes, and finally stain that dang deck! PSYCH. Sorry, that doesn’t exist. But this advice, straight from the Zum stuff-makers, certainly does: Let your skin breathe, it knows what it’s doing, and stop putting so much crap on it. Yep, we make body care products here at Zum HQ, but we take a different approach, ‘cause we’re truly passionate about keeping you happy and healthy. We’re practically begging you to let your awesome skin go ‘head with its bad self, and give it exactly what it needs to wash off the dirt of modern living, and nothing more.

We believe in the science of how cool your skin ALREADY is, not in how fancy-shmancy lab ingredients work or whatever. Your skin doesn’t need to be fixed…it ain’t broke, after all. It just needs to be loved and pampered, in all of its acid-tastic glory.

That’s where goat’s milk comes in. We’re crazy about it for a reason. Remember that 5.5 pH level from earlier? Well, goat’s milk gets real close to that. When we mix it in our soap recipe, it acts as an all-natural nourisher that doesn’t strip away your amazing acid mantle.

So what does that mean for you, sweetiepoo? Happier skin with a perfect Goldilocks balance of moisture, and in turn…so much less stress. Oh, and you’ll look great too, so you’ve got that goin’ for you, which is nice.

You don’t need Zum to be awesome, ‘cause you already are. But we think life’s a lot better with goat’s milk in it. Your beautiful skin agrees. So why not get in on this bliss?