Purple Skinny Volume 1, No. 12

Don't cry over spilled milk, unless it's goats milk

Why? Because goats milk is very good and never ba-ha-ha-ha-had. Goats milk, the main ingredient in our all natural Goats Milk Zum Bar soaps, is naturally ultra-moisturizing, naturally balanced for the skin, and naturally homogenized. (So in case you happen to have a pet goat, you could truly drink the milk straight from the teat. But that would make you creepy and it might freak out your goat.)

Unlike commercial soap, all natural goats milk soap contains capric, caprylic and capronic acids, and the naturally occurring triglycerides. Otherwise known as good fat. The result is a pH level that's well balanced for healthy human hair and skin, while commercial soap can dry out the skin to the point at which it feels taut and itchy. The oil glands are forced to counteract, overproducing oils in an attempt to rebalance the pH of the skin. The result can be oily skin, clogged pores, blackheads and yuck -¬ pimples.

Goats milk soap simply maintains the balance. And no worries for people who have allergies to usual dairy products or sensitive skin.

Three letters: W-O-W. This could be more than you ever wanted to know about goats milk, but we think the point is worth milking for a Purple Skinny.

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Purple Skinny Volume 1, No. 32

Lime-Basil Zum Bars cook up a tasty shower.

This is a new segment we like to call "Get to know your Zum Bar." This week's flave – the all natural Lime-Basil Zum Bar soap.

A twist on an old recipe, our lime-basil bars are designed after a famous London perfumery, Jo Malone. How worldly, eh. Our own natural version is strong with spicy undertones in a fruity citrus background. It awakens the conscious mind, perking you up and reducing mental fatigue to a shell of its former self.

16th century John Gerard (Who is that? We don't know, but his last name is fun to say) wrote that "the smell of basil taketh away sorrowfulness...and maketh a man merry and glad." Little did he know it was also good for insect bites, muscular aches and pains. And we doubt he used it in the shower. (Pssst, they didn't have showers back then.)

Like all of our Zum Bars, our Lime-Basil bar is made of goats milk and plenty of glycerin. But the lime and basil give it the personality that turns your shower into a worldly experience.

There, now you've gotten to know your all natural Lime-Basil Zum Bar soap. We say pass it on...

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Purple Skinny Volume 1, No. 36

Patchouli Zum Bar

"Make lather, not war." If the all natural Patchouli Zum Bar soap could talk, this would be its battle cry. Not to be typecast, though, the all natural Patchouli Zum Bar soap loves all people alike. Liberals, conservatives, democrats, republicans, green party, no party – Patchouli Zum Bar does not practice partisan showers. (Maybe that's why it has worked it's way up to our second best selling soap!)

Patchouli showers are all about returning to our roots with a sweet, rich, herbaceous-earthy aroma. Combine that with goats milk and glycerin inherent in all Zum Bars, and you can see how Patchouli seeks to unite, not divide. So put your differences aside – together we can make sure that every man, woman and child gets a slice of all natural Patchouli Zum Bar soap. Together, we can give a piece a chance.

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Purple Skinny Volume 1, No. 47

Ylang Ylang is the flower for deflowering

Aphrodisiac, euphoric properties, calming, relaxing, exotic and erotic – Ylang Ylang is the flower so nice, they named it twice. Hailing from tropical Asia, the Ylang Ylang flower has long been a flower for deflowering. Example – in Indonesia, Ylang Ylang flowers are spread on the beds of newly married couples on their wedding night.

So you can just imagine how it multiplies the power of the shower with the all natural Ylang Ylang Zum Bar soap. Yes, yes...and just in time for Valentine's Day.

Maybe it's time you gave Ylang Ylang a double-take.

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Purple Skinny Volume 1, No. 49

Clove-Mint Zum Bar

It started as an experiment for bilateral soap accords – the all natural Clove-Mint Zum Bar soap. Clove, the funny shaped herb employed in many a turkey dinner and the roughneck offspring of an evergreen tree from the wrong side of the tracks. Mint, the popular oft-used culinary hero and breath-freshening treat that made a name for itself as a pre-make-out ritual, attaining overnight success and superstardom.

Many have thought oil and water stood a better chance at long-lasting peace, yet here Clove and Mint are...together...two peas in a pod...of sorts.

Separate they are good, together they are so very, very good. Clove brings a spicy warmth to the table. Mint provides the bite with a little fresh-herbaceous action. One part laidback demeanor, one part charismatic charmer – swimming together in a sea of glycerin and goat's milk.

In the words of Lennon, "Everybody's talking about Bagism, Shagism, Dragism, Madism, Ragism, Tagism, This-ism, That-ism, is-m, is-m, is-m..." Now Clove and Mint have given peace a chance so that you may give a piece a chance.

Deep stuff kids...deep stuff.

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Purple Skinny Volume 1, No. 52

The all natural Oatmeal-Lavender Zum Bar soap, bon appétit.

It's like breakfast for your body - one part oatmeal, one part lavender, all parts of the body.

First, warm up the shower. For multiplied juju influx, put on some happy music like Jackie Wilson, the B-52s, Marvin Gaye, the Monkees, or the soundtrack to "A Mighty Wind".

Jump in the shower or, for safety's sake, go one leg at a time. Scrub vigorously and enjoy the skin-smoothing exfoliation of oatmeal and the many, many benefits of lavender for all-around skin repair - acne, dermatitis, eczema, psoriasis, boils (yuck) and more.

Meanwhile, use your all natural Oatmeal-Lavender Bar as a microphone while listening to aforementioned happy music. At about the time you forget the words, work up a good lather and give yourself a fake beard of foam, then pretend to be Abraham Lincoln and give an awe-inspiring speech.

Go back to singing after you've finished your speech. Finish shower, towel off, begin day...and be sure to put some clothes on, depending on where you work.

Your karma quotient should be set at 10. The next 24 hours are the perfect time to call your mother and tell her you love her. (Repeat as necessary with father, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. If you're really feeling it, call random people in the phone book and tell them you appreciate their existence.)

And this, friends, is the beauty of beginning the day with an Oatmeal-Lavender Zum Bar...you see, happiness is highly communicable.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 5

Forget Atkins, go on an all natural Grapefruit Zum Bar soap diet.

Breakfast bar, energy bar, all natural soap bar – the Grapefruit Zum Bar combines three bars in one.

It's a breakfast bar because a well-balanced shower is the breakfast of the hygiene world. It's an energy bar giving shower rockers the oomph to extend their bathroom concerts into second and third encores. And it's an all natural soap bar because it's, um, an all natural soap bar – with stuff like goats milk, glycerin, and the Grapefruit essential oil, which is good for muscle fatigue and stiffness.

All that versatility packed into approximately 3 ounces just in time for Spring – and absolutely no carbs.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 18

The all natural Poppy-Pumice Zum Bar soap says "Out with the old skin, in with the new!"

He's rarin' and ready to exfoliate the bejeebers out of dead, dry skin. Call it a resolution for the summer season. Call it a mission. Call it his job. And the timing couldn't be better. Between the poppy seeds and the pumice stone, all natural Poppy Pumice Zum Bar soap can give summer skin a second chance ASAP – from post-gardening clean-up to pre-tanning skin renewal to help that summer glow turn on.

But is all natural Poppy Pumice Zum Bar soap just an exfoliator? No-way-no-how! It mollifies that new skin with its goats milk, glycerin, superfatting action and leaves our new person with the scent of Sandalwood-Citrus. Forget face lifts. We're talking full-body lifts. Besides, if we're all going to shed our clothes in the hot-hot heat, well, we might as well shed our skin first.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 22

Have no fear, Tangerine-Orange Zum Bar is on skin guard duty.

This summer all natural Tangerine-Orange Zum Bar soap is blowing the whistle on oily, sun-damaged skin. And with T-O on the watch, skin will have no problem surviving the long, hot summer. She's up-to-date on all of her skin-saving classes and really knows her CPR: Citrus Pore Repair. Yep, T-O takes her duties very seriously and skin everywhere is lucky to have her on the job.

T-O's goats milk, glycerin, and citrus essential oils make her strong on protection, while her citrus scent refreshes like none other. And her forte: toning, while cleaning oily skin slicks caused by the heat.

This summer we can all take comfort knowing that all natural Tangerine-Orange Zum Bar soap is on guard, looking for any signs of skin distress so she can perform a little bar-to-skin resuscitation.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 28

Fresh goats milk knowledge that is.

Many an Indigonian ask us, “Hey you...Indigo Wild...when it comes to your Zum Bars and Zum Rubs, why do you milk goats for their goats milky goodness?"

First off, we don't actually milk the goats ourselves...as you can see in the photo, our very own Shae has her hands nowhere near that cute little goat's udder. Second, sure there are lots of lovely milkable creatures that would jump at the chance to have their milk featured in our products – mongooses, wombats, dingos, Annie...the list goes on. Truth is, goats milk is probably the absolute best mix of "good for you" and "good for nature."

• Goats milk is naturally homogenized. Since it's already homogenized, there's naturally a more even distribution of fat globules. This makes for a better base moisturizer that's easy to work with.
• Goats milk has a pH level that's as near to skin as a pair of faux leather pants. Goats milk's pH is pHat because of capric, caprylic, capronic acids (the big "C's" we call 'em) and the natural triglycerides. Since the pH is so freakin' close, it helps moisturize while maintaining the balance of the skin. Many soaps leave the skin feeling too oily or too dry. Left too oily and the pores get clogged. Left too dry, and the skin overcompensates and overproduces oils. Goats milk...aha...goats milk, though, doesn't upset the protective shield that skin's oil glands produce.
• Goats milk offers an alphabet soup of vitamins. With its restorative vitamins, minerals and proteins, goats milk is sooo worth milkin'.

There you have it – cool, refreshing, filling goats milk knowledge. It does a Purple Skinnian good.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 29

"Dear Indigo Wild, where do essential oils come from?"

Well, Purple Skinnians, this is a perfectly normal thing to be curious about. And there are a lot of misconceptions out there...we're glad you feel comfortable enough to ask us.

The first thing you need to know: pure essential oils are perfectly natural since they're the essence of the plants from which they're derived. But one of the biggest misconceptions is that every plant contains these oils...kind of like the thought that every man with big feet...umh...has big shoes. Trust us, this just isn't true.

Take lilac, for example – the Milli Vanilli of essential oils. Nope, there's no such thing as lilac essential oil. Lilac is a fragrance oil, which is artificial, man-made, synthetic, manufactured and not all-natural. The same can be said for pumpkin, coconut and others. We understand the confusion because there are certain companies out there claiming to be “100% natural” even though they're using fragrance oils. Shame.

Another misconception floating around is that fragrance oils have aromatherapeutic properties...which they don't. Only products containing essential oils can truly be aromatherapeutic….like our Zum, Zip's and ZAR products that are loaded with pure essential oils!

Some other essential facts:

• There are 3000 essential oils worldwide, but only 300 are commonly used in products.
• It takes at least one pound of any given plant to create just one drop of essential oil.
• Essential oils are the most concentrated form of any botanical.
• Essential oils are produced through steam or water distillation, a process in which the essential oils are physically separated from the water phase.

All of these things make essential oils essential to being natural. And what could be more beautiful than that?

Purple Skinnians, we think it's important we had this talk. And, please, if you have any more questions don't be afraid to ask.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 34

Ay! Moisturizin' sea salts aren't jus' fer pirates anymore!

Avast me maties! At last the all natural Sea Salt Zum Bar soap is on deck, with all-natural sea salts and hints of refreshin' citrus essential oils to boot. This is a brand new Zum Barrrrrr! And it's enough to turn even the driest, dirtiest hornswaggler into an ultra-moisturized, citrusy-scented seaman with plenty of cursin' in his yo-ho and rum in his breath.

How ye ask? Well, where there's salt, there's water. Sea salts actually force moisture to the skin like a captain forcing his cockswain to the shore! (Rrrrrr! A cockswain is a captain's assistant who rows him from the ship to the shore ya dirty-minded Purple Skinnian.) Apologies if ye can't keep up with the pirate jargon. Are we being too much of a drivelswigger?

Well, ye best know that the NEW all natural Sea Salt Zum Bar soap will shiver anyone's timbers. It's an exfoliant, it's an emollient, it's an experience that turns any ordinary shower into a poop deck with ocean spray a-sprayin' moisture from head to toe. Thar she bathes! And thar she takes advantage of an all natural Zum Bar soap that's sure to be as irresistible as a pirate's booty.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 42

Zum Bars. Aroma and bouquet without the sulfites.

Ooh-la-la...we've noticed some similarities between wine making and all natural Zum Bar soap making. Lest you be a wine snob, we think you'll agree.

• Vintners select the finest grapes. We select the finest pure essential oils.
• They milk the vines. We milk the goats.
• They stomp on grapes. We stomp on synthetics and chemicals.
• Wine makers handpick the finest grapes. We handselect the finest ingredients, then add our own 100% pure grade A juju – a byproduct of the happy-go-lucky soapmaking process that machines can't touch.
• They experiment with combinations for varying complexities and varietals. We...ditto.
• They allow their wines to ferment and age. We let the Zum Bars mellow and cure.
• They develop snazzy names and packaging to draw in non-connoisseurs who merely pick out wines based on the labels with cute swirlies and frilly designs. We develop snazzy labels and leave the cute swirlies and frilly designs to our soap maker, Charley.
• They recommend pairing with red meats, poultry or fish. We recommend pairing with a fellow showerer.
• They make wine. We drink wine.

Ahh, but in the end, both wines and all natural Zum Bar soaps are the sweet nectar of the gods.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 45

Confetti promises to make every shower feel like New Year's!

That's right...with all natural Confetti Zum Bar soap, every shower is a big ole New Year's to-do! Minus the thousands of flamboyant party-goers (unless customers are into that sorta thing), minus the drunkenness (unless customers are into that sorta thing), minus Dick Clark (unless customers are into...hmph...wow, that's pretty bizarre).

The point is, the all natural Confetti Zum Bar soap isn't just good for Hip, Hip, Hoorays! It's good for Butt, Butt, Hoorays!...Leg, Leg Hoorays!...Chest, Chest, Hoorays!...pretty much every body part that needs to feel like new 365 days a year.

Why, why, why? Because Patchouli and Lavender are restorative, and Citrus gives a punchy pinch to get the senses going. That, Skinnians, means every shower...turning drama queen here...every shower isn't just a new day...it's a New Year...a chance to start afresh.

We highly recommend making a New Year's Resolution to pass the Confetti this year...it's exciting schtuff.

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 47

It's not Zoom, it's Zum.

It's not pronounced Zoom. It's pronounced Zum...as in yum, tum, rum, bum, hum and gum. After all, when Todd helped Emily come up with the name, after a particularly long night of wine sampling, Todd didn't say, "That's Zoom bar of all natural soap." He said, "That's Zum bar of all natural soap!"

Why does it matter? Well, why does gravity matter? Why do natural rights matter? Why do carbon-based lifeforms matter? Pronounce Zum as Zoom and everything we know will be flip-flopped, potentially upsetting the subtle balance of nature...right will become wrong, good will become evil, heavenly will be hellish...the sky will start falling, cats and dogs will become life partners and buy up all the world's lofts, Paris Hilton will win an Oscar, penguins will start dressing business casual.

Life as we know it will be reversed, turned inside-out and upside-down. So, be a good chum...pronounce it Zum...pretty please?

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Purple Skinny Volume 2, No. 49

Mint Zum Bar's Top 10 Pick Up Lines.

There's no such thing as a hint of mint. When you ask for all natural Mint Zum Bar soap, you get all Mentha Spicata...the plant that gets fresh...umh...maybe a little too fresh.

10) You know what they say about all natural soaps with big goats milk? We have big moisturizing.

9) You know what would look good on you? Me...I'm good for damaged skin.

8) They say I stimulate a tired mind. I'm also an overachiever.

7) You may have seen me in such hits as chewing gum and mojitos.

6) Please don't leaf me.

5) I could tell you were dirty from across the room.

4) Would you lay me in the soap dish?

3) If you think I was good in your mouth, wait until you try me on your body.

2) Are you busy at 6:30 tomorrow morning?

1) Is it hot in here, or is it just the steam distillation?

Hmmm...that's pretty fresh. Who could say no to such freshness? If customers are looking for an all natural soap without subtleties, Mint Zum Bar would looooove to get picked up.

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Purple Skinny Volume 3, No. 3

...and no one is there to catch them...

...will they make an all natural Tea Tree-Citrus Zum Bar soap? Ah, the age-oldish question.

The answer: no.

Two sizable trees falling in the shower simply make for inconvenience and far less shower space. Let's explore the more traditional ways of making the all natural Tea Tree-Citrus Zum Bar soap, without having to bring insurance claim adjustors into the fold.

Indigo Wild brings Tea Tree Trees and Citrus Trees into the shower through the power of essential oils. Tea Tree's essential oil is known for its medicinal properties and helps clean up congested skin, while Citrus is known for its mood-enhancing qualities. Trees falling in the shower, on the other hand, fall far...ahem...short of such qualities.

The all natural Tea Tree-Citrus Zum Bar soap is fresh, earthy, woodsy and herbaceous, and especially cute with dried calendula sprinkled atop its crown. And while all natural Tea Tree-Citrus Zum Bar soap is similarly susceptible to the laws of gravity in the shower, it will only cause damage if dropped directly on your big toe.

Please remember, Skinnians, we are trained professionals in the art of tree wrangling. Enjoy all natural Tea Tree-Citrus Zum Bar soap responsibly.

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Purple Skinny Volume 3, No. 9

A spot of NEW Rooibos Red Tea Zum Bar hits the spot!

Say hello to the newest all natural soap - Rooibos Red Tea Zum Bar! He is pleased to meet your acquaintance, and extends his hand to shake as is customary in this country. You see, Rooibos Red Tea hails from South Africa, and comes from the humble shrub-like plant by the same name.

You're about to know Rooibos Red Tea on a first- and second-hand basis. So go on, say his name – ROY-BOSS! Who's the new Zum Bar boss – ROY-BOSS! How do you spell it? R-O-O-I...wait, not sure when we converted to cheerleader...how about some Rooibos Trivia?

Queu the music...

• Who has antioxidizing, anti-inflammatory properties and skin-fortifying benefits? That's right – ROOIBOS!
• Who contains alpha hydroxyl acid and zinc which cause healthy, smooth skin? That's right again – ROOIBOS!
• Who, when made as a drink, helps recover from a hangover, control appetite and calm nervous tensions? Wow – you are a Rooibos Trivia jedi master!
• Who was originally supposed to co-star alongside Tony Danza in the classic TV sitcom Who's the Boss? Yeah...Roy is still pretty long-faced about that one...but he is very happy to be playing a starring role as a new Zum Bar!

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