mojo operandi

Our mojoful process is a soap operandi of chi-runs that always gives what it gets. Hey, life is a cosmic wheel … and we reinvent our part of the wheel every chance we get. Why? Cuz we believe in cause and effect, not cause and deflect. You know, what Zums around comes around. Voodoo unto others as you would have them voodoo unto you. You popped your water bed, now sleep in it. This is the basis for our untrademarked process – i.e. we don't trade marks on the earth for our all-natural products. No way, no tao. There are too many steps in our process to count, but we can count to four, so here they are:

blend it.
Our steps don't leave any footprints. We handpick the most natural skingredients without bouncing this big blue ball we call earth. Our natural ingredients are certifiable, and we might be certifiably nuts for going to such extremes (or for wearing our underwear on the outside).

pour it.
We mix goat's milk, food grade olive, coconut, palm and castor oils and 100% pure essential oils using the cold-process method. This maintains the integrity of the ingredients. Saponification happens and produces super-moisturizing glycerin as a byproduct. Big soap companies remove it and sell it for extra profit. Not us. (It's called glycerin, not glycerout.)

swirl it.
After we've mixed together all these goodies, we pour the liquid ingredients together into a wooden frame about the size of a DJ mixing board. We then mix in mineral pigments, herbs, sea salts, coffee grounds and more, create our signature swirlies, and add our not-so- secret secret ingredient of mojo.

cut it.
Finally, we make a Bhudda call. We say ohm and bless our Zum Bar mixture, whisper supportive, nurturing affirmations and teach it to condition skin unconditionally. After a few days, it hardens into a Zum Slab, which begets Zum Bricks, which begets Zum Bars – all of which you should totally be getting.