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Any More Natural and You'd Be Naked.

DEEP THOUGHTS WITH THE ZUMTERN.


Zum Lab has been dabbling in some serious black magic. We’re about to drop our new Charcoal Zum Bar, and as your ever-faithful zumtern, I feel compelled to geek out about charcoal in a blog post.

I love me some barbecue ribs on the grill, and I also love all-natural skincare that’ll whip my pores into shape without any scary synthetic ingredients getting involved. What do these two seemingly disparate things have in common? You guessed it, charcoal! (No, I have never used a barbecue sauce face mask, but it’s not like I wouldn’t ever not try that, because this is Kansas City after all.)

I’m fresh outta college, and as our sage old Britney waxes so poetically: I’m not a girl, not yet a woman. Even though I’m out trying to make my way in the adult world now, my skin is still stuck in high school. It’s whiny, sensitive, needy, and basically just a total overreacting drama queen when it comes to oil and zits. My face needs tough love, but I’m adamant about sticking to the all-natural stuff. What’s a girlwoman to do?

That’s where my dark knight comes in to save the day, dermatologically speaking. Charcoal’s chemical structure works as a magnet to draw toxins out of the skin. It’s like taking a teeny weeny li’l vacuum to your pores. Add  goat’s milk in the mix to nourish, condition, and provide moisture balance, and you’ve got one blue-ribbon science project. Our saponifologists have perfected the recipe so that Charcoal Zum Bar’s lather isn’t gritty or messy, so don’t worry about turning your bathroom into a sludgefest. And this bar isn’t just for your face – a blend of gentle essential oils makes it smell so naturally delicious you’ll wanna scrub-a-dub your entire filthy bod with this burnin’ hunk of love. As always: no parabens, sulfates, phthalates, detergents, triclosan, artificial colors, or synthetic fragrances. Your LBB (Little Black Bar) won’t let you down.

So don’t be afraid of the dark, loveys: charcoal is a rebel with a cause, here to incinerate your clogged pores. It’s 100% intern-approved. Well, that’s it, you’ve just been grilled on charcoal. (And now I’m really craving ribs, so excuse me while I get my barbecue on.)

 

**Note: never use BBQ charcoal on your face! Only use food grade activated charcoal.