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TODAY'S Dirty 30 Deal: You-Pick-Three Goat's Milk Soap Zum Bars For $13.50.

DEEP THOUGHTS WITH THE ZUMTERN.


Zum Lab has been dabbling in some serious black magic. We’re about to drop our new Charcoal Zum Bar, and as your ever-faithful zumtern, I feel compelled to geek out about charcoal in a blog post.

I love me some barbecue ribs on the grill, and I also love all-natural skincare that’ll whip my pores into shape without any scary synthetic ingredients getting involved. What do these two seemingly disparate things have in common? You guessed it, charcoal! (No, I have never used a barbecue sauce face mask, but it’s not like I wouldn’t ever not try that, because this is Kansas City after all.)

I’m fresh outta college, and as our sage old Britney waxes so poetically: I’m not a girl, not yet a woman. Even though I’m out trying to make my way in the adult world now, my skin is still stuck in high school. It’s whiny, sensitive, needy, and basically just a total overreacting drama queen when it comes to oil and zits. My face needs tough love, but I’m adamant about sticking to the all-natural stuff. What’s a girlwoman to do?

That’s where my dark knight comes in to save the day, dermatologically speaking. Charcoal’s chemical structure works as a magnet to draw toxins out of the skin. It’s like taking a teeny weeny li’l vacuum to your pores. Add  goat’s milk in the mix to nourish, condition, and provide moisture balance, and you’ve got one blue-ribbon science project. Our saponifologists have perfected the recipe so that Charcoal Zum Bar’s lather isn’t gritty or messy, so don’t worry about turning your bathroom into a sludgefest. And this bar isn’t just for your face – a blend of gentle essential oils makes it smell so naturally delicious you’ll wanna scrub-a-dub your entire filthy bod with this burnin’ hunk of love. As always: no parabens, sulfates, phthalates, detergents, triclosan, artificial colors, or synthetic fragrances. Your LBB (Little Black Bar) won’t let you down.

So don’t be afraid of the dark, loveys: charcoal is a rebel with a cause, here to incinerate your clogged pores. It’s 100% intern-approved. Well, that’s it, you’ve just been grilled on charcoal. (And now I’m really craving ribs, so excuse me while I get my barbecue on.)

 

**Note: never use BBQ charcoal on your face! Only use food grade activated charcoal.