It’s not easy being me.
Sometimes, my butt really itches. Sometimes, no one will share their food with me or even give me a treat! And sometimes, I’ll just be out on the dog run, minding my own business, when someone comes over and starts yelling at me and makes me come inside. It’s hard out here for a pug.
My struggles start in the morning, when I’m rudely awoken by the latest addition to our household: my baby brother. While he’s nice and all, I wish I could just sleep in for once. But sadly, I’m needed at the office. I think my mom does something there too, because before I know it, she sets me in the car, and we’re off. Once I arrive at the office, I’m greeted with cuddles and kisses from my most loyal employees. After a quick bite of breakfast in my mom’s office, I’m off to make my rounds.
I usually make sure everything’s fine upstairs, before making my way downstairs, where the real action is. I stop in and say hello to Julie, one of my best humans. She pets me and always lets me lie down in her office if I need a quick mid-morning nap. After that, it’s over to the packing station, where one or more of my boyfriends work. After watching them flex their muscles taping up boxes and suggesting that maybe they’d be more efficient if they took their shirts off, I’m usually ready to cool down outside. While I’m out there, I tend to get hungry… and what’s a girl to do if there’s no one around to give her treats? You have to be creative– so after doing a quick scan of the grass to see what the other dogs have left behind, I pick the choicest pile and dig in. The taste is indescribable, but I gotta say, there’s nothing else quite like it.
Usually, one or more of these special snacktimes are interrupted by some good-for-nothing human, who proceeds to yell at me and order me inside. If I’m feeling nice, I’ll humor them, but most of the time I just continue to do my thang. It’s only when they come outside and start chasing me that I’ll abandon my snack.
Lucky for me, lunch follows soon after. I like to eat with my colleagues, since I think it really boosts morale. Plus, sometimes people drop crusts of food or random crumbs, and I’m only too happy to help clean them up. With my tongue, of course.
After lunch, I like to keep the Spanish tradition of siesta, or an extended mid afternoon nap. My favorite place to nap is in a strawberry box by the dog run, where the sun always shines on me and I’m guaranteed to look like a sleeping angel. I’m out for a few hours, usually, but since I’ve been pretty efficient the whole day, I think I deserve this. “Treat yo’self” is my personal motto.
I’m usually woken up by a customer in our retail area, who must be greeted by none other than moi, of course. After yelling at them thoroughly to make sure they’re not criminals, I’ll let myself be petted, and maybe even picked up if the moment is right. Since I’m the face of the company, it’s important to show how involved I am in every step of the process, including the retail aspect.
The customers keep up a pretty steady flow, and before I know, it’s 5 o’clock on the dot. Most nights, I have a pretty strict date with my bed and some Netflix, so once all my friends are gone, I go back up and wait for my mom to leave. And before I know it, another day has come and gone: totally exhausting, but totally worth it. But lucky for me, tomorrow’s a new day– new chances for treats, cuddles, and recognition as the greatest pug of all time.